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Net Gains (Nov 19, 97) |
The Field Guide to North American Males (http://www.fieldguide.com/),
is a sampler from the book of the same name, but stands on its
own merit. The book itself offers handy descriptions of over 50
species of boys (instead of birds), along with descriptions of
their plumage, mating calls, sexual and agonistic displays, courtship
rituals and habitats. The site, being an appetiser to induce readers
to buy the book, offers 9 varieties (one being an exclusive category
on the web).
The ubiquitous FAQ section is present, answering very scientific questions that haven't been satisfactorily answered down the ages until the site came along …
- Why does my male have a compulsive need to play air guitar and/or drum along with the stereo?
- Why are males such disgusting housekeepers?
- Why does my male hog the remote control?
- Why is my male so paranoid?
There is also a form for readers to contribute new varieties
of males, and those not covered in the books. The form asks for
every single imaginable detail including : diet, nest type, intake,
approach, courtship and sexual behaviour … you name it, it's
there !
The author, Marjorie Ingall, has boy species organized according
to the four families: Artsy, Gainfully Employed, Athletic and
Casual. These families are divided into species - two of each
being described on the site for junta to go through.
For instance, the best fit for me seemed to be the "Gainfully
Employed" category. The website offered two options to me
: Nebbish virtuus (Ugly-shoe-wearing Public Interest Guy), or
Cyberdorkus perpetuum (Socially Awkward/Possibly Deep Computer
Geek), the latter being more appropriate. Except for the courtship
behaviour, the tests of plumage, habitat, feeding habits, sexual
and agonistic displays, mating rituals and mating calls completely
failed (to the authors credit, I'm not a North American male).
Consider this :
Courtship Behavior: Allots you your own Eudora mailbox. Offers you space on his server. Gives you the number to his alpha-numeric pager so you can send him instant email love letters. Uploads pictures of you to the Web. Updates them regularly. You have dated for three months before you've even seen him in person.
How very true !
For all you ladies out there trying to classify us guys, and
specially for those targetting NRIs for the bondage ritual (shaadi),
the entire book can be yours for just $8 (you can buy it online
from Amazon.com). Isn't the Net a wonderful place ?