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Net Gains (Feb 12, 99) |
Tom Hanks and Meg Ryans meet in an AOL chat room (for the newbies:
AOL is a very, very advanced version VSNL, but you get the drift).
They meet online and since it is a love movie, they predictably
get attracted to one another - virtually that is. In reality,
Tom Hanks owns a bookstore chain that is putting Meg Ryans' rival
bookstore out of business. And you have Meg Ryan using Tom Hanks'
shoulder to cry on, little knowing that in reality he is the person
putting her out of business. They plan to meet in real life, but
he doesn't show up. A few reels later, the movie ends on a romantic
note - but you'll have to watch the movie to find out more (or
drop in online at http://www.youvegotmail.com/)
If your eyes are not clouded by the movie plot, one lesson will
be driven home very, very clearly - that anonymity is the middle
name of the Internet. Like both, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryans, you
can't be sure who belongs to the username or email address you
see on your screen. They could be tender, loving and caring, or
just your friendly neighbourhood psychopath. You often start discovering
that a bit late in life when you finally meet them in person.
For instance, I received emails from a person who came across
as a very aggressive 25 - 30 year old, 100 kg monster who'd beat
me up if I didn't agree with his viewpoint or reply to his email
within a few hours of his sending it. When I did finally meet
him in person, he was accompanied by his aayah - he was
a pesky, scrawny 15 year old schoolkid, who acted tough under
the blanket of the Internet.
Another example is that of a colleague who perpetually seemed
to have an extra dose of hyperactive hormones. He used to log
on regularly to a romance chat room and flirt with another regular
- Madhuri. Only when he asked her to meet him in real life that
the bomb was dropped on unsuspecting Neeraj - Madhuri was really
an IIT student named Ram. Ram started using the nickname Madhuri
in chat rooms after he was continually ignored when he logged
on as Ram. As Madhuri, everyone in the chat room would instantly
strike up conversations as soon as they scented a female…
While the above stories shouldn't stop you from enjoying yourself online and having fun, here are a few do's and don'ts to keep you from becoming a victim:
- Be cautious - not everyone online has as genuine and honourable intentions as you do. So it's not the best thing to go around making your personal details like your phone number public.
- Take an extra dose of caution if you're a girl / lady / female / non-male. This species tends to instantaneously attract attention and have people hit on them.
- Whether it's ICQ or email that you're using to keep in touch remember that everything you say can (and will be) used against you. Don't put things down online that you wouldn't in real life.
- People lie. People can assume personalities. See, even I keep saying that I'm a "seedha-saadha, bhola-bhala, shareif insaan" all the time… But seriously though, if you happen to publicly mention that your Mr. Right should be a sensitive, caring guy, you'll suddenly find dozens of them knocking at your email box.
- If you do decide to meet in real life, ensure that it's in a public place. And if you're not disappointed, your next few meetings would again have a public place as an ideal setting.
- You've Got Mail being a movie has a nice, romantic, fairy-tale ending. How often are movie stories enacted in real life?
And before I log out this week, a big thank you to "Guess"
(whoever you are, I'm bad at guessing) and to the anonymous person
who sent me a message to meet up through Secret Admirer - a Valentine
site we looked at last week. Let's meet up - in cyberspace.
Have a romantic Valentine's Day! I'll be spending V-Day upgrading
my Valentine - from a Pentium to a Celeron…